Hell-No Kitty

kitty1Number: 10
Nickname: Kitty

Hell-No Kitty cut her teeth as top act Smitten Kitten, appearing 6 nights a week at the famous Glitter Box Burlesque club on the Vegas strip, where she got in too deep with the Vegas mafia. Her main squeeze was mafia up-and-comer Johnny Mongo Maldonado, a hatchet-man known as much for his imposing size as for his sour temper.

During a late-night Friday performance, Mongo thought he caught Kitty making eyes at another patron, and lost his mind, shooting the other man before turning the gun on Kitty, who was perched inside a giant martini glass. He missed, but glass shattered everywhere, badly scarring kitty and effectively ending her burlesque career. In the madness of the moment, she grabbed the fragmented martini stem and impaled Mongo before finishing her act covered in blood. That single event both got her barred from Burlesque and placed in the witness protection program.

For years, Kitty zig-zagged across the country, performing with the traveling rodeo. She was constantly looking over her shoulder, wary of black limousines, and she never, ever ate at pizza places. Finally, when a power-upheaval and a series of arrests in the Vegas mafia scene eliminated all her would-be assassins, Kitty dusted off her vintage fishnets and joined the first Roller Derby league she came to.

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