Dick Smack

Color Commentary

dickNo Back Talk — Smack Talk!

Dick Smack began polishing his color commentary skills at an early age whilst sitting slack-jawed on the soiled lap of his godfather Hunter S. Thompson. Later, his love of sports was nearly driven out of him entirely when celebrity pitcher Bob Uecker beaned him in a charity Pee Wee League baseball game. Recovering nicely, Dick’s announcing debut involved play-by-play of a session of “Seven Minutes in Heaven” that went into sudden-death overtime at Sally Jenkins’ sweet 16 birthday party. These and other tragic consequences are chronicled in the direct-to-video now-out-of-print DVD “Talkin’ Smack: The Dick Smack Saga: Part 9: The Li’l Tadger Years.” A mouth for all occasions, Dick has won a Pulitzer Prize for Journalism (total coverage of the Mint 400); an Emmy for Best TV News Expose (a 20/20 segment on tainted love in the meat-packing industry); and a black-market Tony for his riveting portrayal of Rum Tum Tugger in an off-off-Broadway production of CATS. Now his passion for the poetry of roller derby has brought him to Middle America, where announcing for the Bleeding Heartland Rollergirls is its own reward.

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